1901 Census Monks Horton,
Kent, England

  1881 Census Standford,
 Kent, England

  Bits & Pieces - Humour

Remembrance Day

Christmas in the Workhouse



 Canterbury Shrubsoles

 Faversham Shrubsoles

 Harrietsham Shrubsoles

 Kingston-upon-Thames Shrubsoles

 Maidstone Shrubsoles

 Milton by Sittingbourne Shrubsoles




Hunting the Ancestors

I feel like Monsieur Poirot, researching for a case.

I'm hunting in the attic with Cobwebs in my face.

There's nothing here for me to find,

No starting thread I can unwind,

Just lots and lots of dust and grime.

So now I'll ask some questions of people that I know.

This ancestor hunting is very, very slow.

The people that I'm asking just blankly stare in space,

"I'm sorry but your ancestors have disappeared without a trace".

I know that cousin Eric was a farmer down in Hoe,

And that little Auntie Margaret married Mr Graham Lowe.

But I never knew that uncle Fred, Whose real name was really George

Left his last profession, as he just got really bored.

Now that I've got going there are things I really dread,

Like my favourite Aunty Phillipa was really Uncle Ted!

This family thing's confusing the list of names goes on,

I'm sure that something here is very, very wrong.

There are skeletons in the Cupboards!

That they thought I would not find.

Oh dear! That's Auntie Ethel,

I do hope she doesn't mind.

Author: S.J.Goodwin. Bromley, Kent.

My thanks to Sue for letting me use her poem on this page


I decided to do my family history

Just for the fun of it.
I hadn’t realised the purgatory
To get every single hit.

I’d been to the library

Where I spent an hour or two.

I’d managed to find the Priory
Now my eyes feel like glue.

I went to the record office

Hoping to find Harry Moore.

Eventually he did surface

But as Marry Hoore.

I posted to the list

With a glint of hope.

Willing to persist

Don’ know if I’l cope.

How do I get on from here

Not knowing who they were.
My brain is out of gear

Am I looking for him or her.

I’e been staring at the screen

For many hours up till now.

Wondrous what I can glean

Sweat dripping from my brow.

Hubby’ home in a while

Hope he’ in a good mood.

Done a little left a pile

Got to get him some food.

Haven’ time to clean the house

While I’ on the internet.

Did I just see a mouse
Or was it just my little pet.

Tomorrow’ another day

Giving up for tonight.

Pity I don’ get any pay

But it is still a delight.

Here’ to Abraham INGLESON

And looking at you Alfred DOWNES

Not forgetting every ATKINSON

You’e all cost me pounds.

To every family member

Be you gone, here or to come,

I love you all remember

Stranger that I am to some.

Where would I be without you

Not here that I know.

Just wish you could give me a clue

As to all that YOU know.

By Maureen Downes.


This page is where I am collecting poems, quotes, humour & oddities.

Purely for the lighter side of family history & I hope some of it brings a smile to your face.

All contributions gratefully received.

Dear Ancestor……  

Your tombstone stands among the rest;
Neglected and alone.
The name and date are chiseled out
On polished, marbled stone.

It reaches out to all who care
It is too late to mourn.
You did not know that I exist
You died and I was born.

Yet each of us are cells of you
In flesh, in blood, in bone.
Our blood contracts and beats a pulse
Entirely not our own.

Unknown Author.


Many, many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother
For she was my father’ wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it bought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so bcame my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow’ grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father’ wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter’ son.
My wife is now my mother’ mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She’ my grandmother too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!

Unknown Author


I think this is an appropriate reminder to us all when requesting help from fellow researchers:



We read your desperate pleas for help
And we do what we can
We give our time freely
To help our fellow man
But you should think of what’ involved
In getting your problem solved
And say a thank you now and then
It’ courteous I’ told.


Alan the South Londoner in New Zealand.

From Peterhead to Peterborough, Pendle to Penzance,

My merry band of ancestors has led me quite a dance.

There’ no-one rich and famous, no, not even well to-do,

Though a second cousin twice removed once played in goal for Crewe.

My bride of just three minutes I left standing at the church,

As I nipped into the graveyard for a spot of quick research,

Eventually I found an uncle 60 years deceased,

It was far more satisfying than a silly wedding feast.
But now my thirty year obsession is lying in the bin,

Last Tuesday week I heard the news that made me chuck it in,
For my darling mother who is not long on this earth,

Casually informed me they’ adopted me from birth.

Unknown Author.

 Look at the price of a Renault in 1924!

The Genealogists Bible

The Ancestors Commandments:

Thou shall use the same forenames for at least one person from every generation,
preferably at least once in every family on every generation, just to cause confusion.
Thou shall wait the maximum amount of time before registering births and deaths,
or better still somehow forget to get them registered at all.
Thou shall have 2 forenames, and use them both separately on official records, but never both together.
Thou shall change your forename at least once during your lifetime.
Thou shall use every conceivable spelling for your surname, and make up a few as well.
Thou shall never use the same year of birth or birthdate.
Always vary it, adding on a couple of years here and taking away a couple of years there.
Thou shall use the house name and county as your place of birth, and not the village or town.
Thou shall completely disappear without trace for at least 15 years of your life, and suddenly turn up again.
Thou shall use at least 2 versions of your father’ name.
Thou shall not use family members as your witnesses at your wedding.
Thou shall get married somewhere that neither of you live.
Thou shall not have all of your children baptised, and shall not always use the same church.
Thou shall move between counties at least once every 10 years.
Thou shall move hundreds of miles from your home town at least once.
Better still would be to move to another country in the UK.
Thou shall make life as difficult as possible for your descendants when they decide to research you.
Thou shall use as many of these commandments as is possible during your lifetime, but not all are necessary.

My thanks to Maureen Downes for this contribution & the following poem of hers.